


water and stone

by evilythedwarf



Series: Five Loves: Emily Prentiss [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-08
Updated: 2011-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-27 02:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilythedwarf/pseuds/evilythedwarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you hate church almost as much as you love it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	water and stone

**Author's Note:**

> Emily/Dave, for 5_loves [1/5]:heaven and earth

This church is beautiful. It’s huge. It’s open and inviting, like maybe, if you were walking past it and you saw the doors were open, maybe you’d want to come in and sit in one of the pews in the back and just look. Maybe you would, if you weren’t Emily Prentiss and church didn’t scare you so much.

You hate church almost as much as you love it. Love it almost as much as you fear.

Growing up in the Middle East, you were not exactly a Sunday Mass kind of girl.

The view from the entrance is breathtaking. Through some complicated system of metal and wood and something that looks like transparent dental floss, there’s sunlight shining directly onto the main altar. You wonder if it was designed that way or if it was just a happy accident. You wonder what kind of inspiration is necessary to build a church.

Dave pulls you out of your architectural musings by holding your hand in his. He smiles at you, encouragingly, happily, with that smile you sometimes think is just for you. He knows your uncomfortable and appreciates you coming here for him, but he can’t quite grasp why you feel like you’re about to pass out.

His faith, bent but never broken, is something you deeply envy. You can’t reconcile the fact that somewhere out there, right now, there’s a murderer planning his next crime, that a scared 15 year old can ask a priest for advise and be told that she brought her troubles upon herself, that there are men and women all over the world who use religion to hurt other people, that since you’ve been back in the States not a day has gone by that you haven’t dealt with death in one way or the other, you can’t reconcile that with what religion and church are supposed to be about.

You cling to Dave’s hand and fight the urge to turn around and run out of there. You remember yourself that you’re here for him. This is difficult enough as it is, and you don’t need to add to that.

“Ready?” you ask him.

He doesn’t answer, just looks at you and nods towards the centre aisle. You walk together towards his expectant family. His parents died when he was young and his brother passed about ten years ago, leaving a wife and three young daughters. The oldest, Suzanne, is married now, here with her husband. Rosie is a senior in college, studying to become a teacher. Diana, his goddaughter, is 16 and very nervously adjusting her baby’s baptism gown while compulsively smoothing her own hair.

When she sees you she hands the baby to her mother and rushes in your direction with a shaky smile on her face.

“Hi Uncle Dave,” she greets him softly.

Dave wraps his arms around the girl and introduces her as the prettiest girl in all of Virginia. The girl wraps her arms around his midsection and buries her face against his chest. “Thanks for being here,” she tells him.

“Anytime kiddo,” he replies, then kisses the top of his head.

“Do you want to see the baby?” she suddenly asks, then turns around and gently takes a baby girl of about 2 months from her grandmother’s arms. The baby is wearing a white gown that falls way past her little chubby legs and reaches almost to the floor. She has a head full of dark curls and the cutest heart shaped lips you have ever seen. Diana holds her towards Dave, who immediately cradles the baby like a pro.

“She looks just like you, you know that?” Dave tells his niece, not taking his eyes away from the baby.

Diana beams at the comment and then proceeds to greet you, surprising you with a hug, and introduces you to the rest of the family while Dave holds his grand-niece and rocks her from side to side.

The priest asks them if they are ready and soon they are all in place. Next to the baptismal font, Diana stands with her baby in arms, flanked by her mother and godfather. They both rest one hand her shoulders.

You know the circumstances of this baptism are less than ideal. No one has said anything but the baby’s father is conspicuously absent and you feel for the girl, you really do, but this is offering you a glimpse of something you’ve spent over half your life swearing you didn’t want. You can’t help but watching Diana, safe and loved and with the support of her family and wonder what your life would have been like f you’d had that.

You don’t regret what you did. Not anymore. It may not have been the right decision, but it was the only one you could have lived with. You’re probably going to hell for admitting to it in a church and you feel awkward all over again. Like the priest who is sprinkling holy water on little Marie Rossi’s forehead is going to suddenly stop, turn towards you and ask you to leave. You haven’t voluntarily stepped foot in a church since you were 15 and there’s a reason for that.

You take a deep, calming breath and hope that Dave’s family doesn’t see your moist eyes as anything other than deep emotion at the scene in front of you.

The ceremony finally over, he guides you with a gently placed hand on your lower back, all the way out to the church’s front steps. You keep looking towards Diana and the baby, can’t help yourself, really. You only half listen to Dave telling you about lunch at his niece’s and would you mind getting back to DC a little later than planned?

You don’t answer him and so he follows your eyes, still fixed on Diana and the now sleeping Marie. You finally pry your eyes away from them only to see a look of regret and self-recrimination on Dave’s face.

He holds your hand and interlaces his fingers with yours.

“Suzie?” he calls to one of his nieces. “Me and Emily are going to call in to work and see about staying for lunch, ok? No promises.”

The young woman nods, obviously accustomed to her uncle’s crazy schedules by now.

You say nothing as he opens the car door for you and then walks around to the other side and sits behind the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you. “I am so sorry.”

You have no idea why he feels like he has to apologise.

“I didn’t think this would remind you of Italy. I’m so sorry Emily.”

“Hey,” you say, “It’s nothing.”

You attempt a smile but know it doesn’t quite work.

“We should go to lunch,” you tell him. “You should be with your family.”

He sighs, rubs his face and then sighs again.

“You’re my family too,” he says. “I’m really sorry Emily.”

You know he is, just as you know that he didn’t mean to put you in a position where your childhood angst would creep it’s ugly head.

“Dave, look at me,” you command. You need to tell him this, you need him to understand. He raises his eyes and looks straight at you.

“I’m glad we came here. I’m glad you were here for your niece, and I’m so terribly glad that she has you and her whole family. Looking at her, looking at you, I can’t help but contemplate what if’s but that doesn’t mean you have anything to be sorry for. What I’m feeling now is not your fault, ok?”

You bring your hands up, one on each side of his face. After a few seconds he covers them with his own.

“I’m here because I love you,” you say. “Because you needed to support your family and because I needed to support you, and I do not regret it, ok? Now let’s go to lunch at your niece’s.”

He nods and starts the car.

 

♥


End file.
